Never Send to Know
by TwistedGreekNerd
Summary: Percy... not the best of babysitters. At least not with Nico hanging around the place. Now including two more short stories! Percy's fatal flaw in action; is it in moderation? And Percy does not know what is going on,... but that won't stop the gods.
1. Chapter 1 Never Send to Know

**I do not own PJO, and this is a very random story. Enjoy!**

"**Never Send to Know…**

Nico rocked back and forth, laughing so hard, that I thought he would fall off his chair. "And… and…," he gasped, "and then she said… she said… 'Takes one to know one!'"

This sent him to another fit of laughter. After several gasps for breaths he looked at me, grinning. "Don't you get it?"

I laughed shortly and assured him it was hilarious. He chortled some more and then blinked at me.

"Are you going to eat that?" Yes, considering the blue cookies were on_ my_ plate and I was_ starving,_ but he merely ignored the look I gave and helped himself to my share of cookies.

My mom came out of her bedroom putting on her earrings. She was wearing her fancy black-and-white dress; I got up to help her with her coat.

"Paul, come on!" she called, "Percy we're going to be gone until midnight because the Fords wanted to grab dinner after-"

"The museum. Right."

"Play. Nico, do you want to spend the night?" He turned and nodded, his mouth bulging like a chipmunk. "Great, but I want you to be asleep by 10:00. Got it?" he stopped nodding and looked like a sad chipmunk. "Percy make sure you get to bed by at least eleven. You've got-"

"School tomorrow. Right."

"SATs. I want you to do well. Now listen: no friends, no monsters, no party, no weapons. Please make something for both of you to eat. Get some studying in if you can, but don't stress yourself out. Be nice to Nico," Hades' spawn stuck his tongue out at me, "Nico, listen to Percy. Be good. Stay in one piece. Call me-"

"They'll be fine, Sally," Paul interrupted, "Shall we be on our way?" he took her arm and over his shoulder, gave me a pleading look like _please keep the house in one piece._

Once they left, I turned to my cousin. "What did she say we can't do?"

He shrugged. "Not be ourselves, I guess." Blame my ADD for being completely ignorant. I pondered this for several moments until Nico interrupted. "You're really bad at this, you know? I'm hungry and you haven't even offered me anything to eat."

"How about a knuckle sandwich?"

"Depends. What's in it?" The doorbell rang and Nico jumped out of his chair. "Percy, don't open it! That is one of the major safety rules that they always teach! Don't open the door to strangers!"

"That's what they tell little seven-year olds like you, so you don't end up embarrassing your parents before they have time to come to the door."

Insistently, he grabbed my arm. "It could be a monster, Percy!"

"Then I'll make sure that it eats you first."

"Well, that's not a comforting prospect at all." The doorbell rang again, and having no choice, he dove behind the couch.

I suddenly had an idea. As soon as I opened, I screamed as loud as I could and slammed it shut. Nico appeared behind me, holding his sword and looking scared.

"I told you! What was it? A chimera? A gorgon? Your ex-girlfriend?"

"No, you idiot. That was my neighbor."

He frowned. "Then why did you just yell and slam the door in their face?" And _that_ is _yet_ another prank that has backfired embarrassingly.

"Hi, Ms. Hunter," I said, reopening the door. "I am so sorry about that. It was, um, never mind."

"Oh, it's alright, Percy," (Ms. Hunter is a very nice person, for being a full-time nurse and a single mother. My parents and her are in some book club or something together.) "I was wondering if your mother was home."

"Uh, no, sorry."

Her face fell. "Is your step-father home then? I'm needed at the hospital, it's an emergency, but there's no one who can baby-sit on such a short notice."

Baby-sit? Money? "Well, I can see, but…"

"Of course, I'll pay. It's only for a few hours. Please?" She looked at her watch and seemed distressed by it.

At that point, I felt bad for her and told her, "Paul and my mom went out this evening. But, you know, I am watching my cousin. We'd love to add a third person to our party."

"Really? Oh thank you so much! I really appreciate it. Here." She handed me a prepayment. "Go along with Percy, Ethan. I'll see you in a few hours. Thank you so much. Bye!"

My eyes traveled down and down and down until I was staring at a miniature Son of Athena. He only came up to my waist, and was wearing a tweed jacket and corduroy pants. He had a wide mouth and big brown eyes framed by the nerdiest looking glass I've ever seen. His blond hair was slicked back, and he had tiny upturned eyebrows.

"How do you do?" he squeaked like a roly-poly college professor. "My name is Ethan Hunter. And you must be Percy Jackson. May I come in?" I let him in wordlessly. He took off his oxford shoes and put them in one corner, and he took off his jacket and handed it to me.

Nico came out from wherever he was hiding, and stared at the smart-looking Hobbit.

"Salutations. My name is Ethan Hunter. And you are?" He held out his hand for a shake.

I shot Nico a look. He seemed to think it was absolutely hilarious whenever people asked him who he was, because he would always answer in some dirty reference to his father. Thankfully, this time he just looked stumped.

"Salutations? Is that French? Because I was going to take Spanish when I got to high school."


	2. Chapter 2 For Whom the Bell Tolls

…**For Whom the Bell Tolls…**

I sat the two of them down at the dinner table planning to use my years of camp wisdom to make this an enjoyable evening. This hope quickly began to diminish once I saw Nico had eaten _all_ of the blue cookies.

"So, Ethan, we have tons of fun stuff to do. What do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Paint and do math. I am quite talented, actually." In painting or in math? Or both?

"Do they still teach you finger-painting or have you moved on to crayons?" Nico joked.

"I use 3D computer animation in my graphic arts class. And I like to paint the likenesses of the royal Dutch family in my spare time. What grades are you in, my comrades?"

"Uh, tenth. He's home schooled."

"Oh, how lovely. I've always wondered what it would be like to be home schooled, but my mom insists that I should try to enjoy high school while I'm still in it. I'm sure you understand, Percy, that ninth grade really is a trial?"

I'm positive my face mirrored Nico's: pure disbelief. "You're in the ninth grade?" he exclaimed. "Dude, how _old_ are you?"

"I have just turned ten and two years; I skipped a couple of grades, though." We both did the translation, and our jaws dropped. This kid, who couldn't have been any bigger than one of those United States dolls that girls are always carrying around, was the same age as Nico, only a grade behind me, and spoke like the freakin god of good conduct!

He probably sensed that we were a bit uncomfortable, and he asked, "I've actually had a long day. May I please have a glass water to drink?"

"Now you're talking. Percy, here, just offered to serve up some knuckle sandwiches. Ever tried one?"

"Macaroni and cheese it is." I declared. But before I could make some, Ethan said,

"As… tasty as that sounds, macaroni and cheese is not very healthy for you. Honestly. I mean it's pasta… and cheese… and, well…."

"How about some hot dogs then? Or a sandwich?"

"Oh, no thank you."

"Say, Shrimpy, what do you eat?" Nico inquired.

A half an hour later we sat there eating from a platter of vegetables. I was annoyed with Nico for asking such a question, but he was just as annoyed with me for offering to serve up the veggies. On the other hand, our DLG (Dear Little Guest) seemed superbly pleased. All I can say is, thank the gods for condiments.

Once we finished our less-than-appealing dinner, Ethan pulled out a purple backpack that I didn't notice before. I checked the clock; 7:00. We had roughly two to three hours before Ms. Hunter was expected to return, Nico was supposed to be asleep, and we were supposed to get a call from my mom. Who knew nothing about our new DLG.

My cousin stared horrified at him. "What is _that_?"

He didn't understand the question at all. "Homework? I didn't get a chance to finish it earlier. I had been procrastinating looking at colleges."

"I'm going to go be a kid now." As he passed me, Nico whispered. "Tell Annabeth that I'm sorry for all the mean things I've said about her cabin."

I'll be honest I was no less eager to be around the kid, but as there was no other chores apart from washing the dishes, I herded Ethan and his backpack into the family room.

"Let's watch a movie, guys."

"Yeah! Something scary! Where a bunch of people die!" Nico exclaimed.

"You seem very interested in, um, morbid things," Ethan mused, settling down at the coffee table. He was staring his emo attire. "If you don't mind me asking, are any of your family members in the," he thought for a moment. "funeral business?"

This suggestion was by far the best that Nico has heard from a mortal. He grabbed a pillow and used it to muffle that strange, cackling laughter that he had been doing earlier. I sat down at the coffee table. Poor kid didn't see what was so funny. Heck, who would?

I asked him what he would like to watch, and he answered matter-of-factly, "I don't watch TV or movies. Much of it is useless and many of the factual information is actually biased. Studies have shown that students who watch-"

"How about a game?" I quickly ask.

"Yeah!" Nico yelled. "Something scary! Where a bunch of people die!"

Ethan silently shook his head. Nico tried again, "Any computer game?" Shake. "Xbox?" Shake. "Clue? Sorry? Mythomagic? That little hippo thing that eats stuff?"

"I don't see how any of those games help increase your knowledge. It is always good to try and increase your knowledge whenever possible."

"How about Scrabble?"

"What's that?"

"Oh, I love Scrabble!" The pixie kid declared. "I play it every day for two hours whenever I have a spelling bee coming up. I'm the reigning district champion."

"Which district? Lilliputian?" I shot him a look. This kid was definitely smart enough to know that was an insult. Instead, Ethan was staring curiously at my SAT books that I left lying on the floor.

"I have a test tomorrow." I explained; he's probably never seen books that size. Or better, he wouldn't be big enough to see the entire book!

"That's an excellent publisher, I assure you. I have their whole collection. You should read their book on preparing for the GEEs. Whenever I take the test, I always love to brush up on their suggestions. Truly remarkable. So tell about your test tomorrow."

"Are you seriously talking about school?" Nico asked impatiently. He got up from the sofa, handed my SAT books to Ethan, shoved the kid out the room and turned to me.

"Now either you can go play smart with the Hobbit or you can watch a scary movie marathon with the Devil's child, but please make him leave me and my dumb brain alone!"


	3. Chapter 3 It Tolls for Thee

…**It Tolls For Thee.**

I take Ethan to my room, apologizing for Nico's behavior. Seriously, I need to start getting paid for every time I have to apologize on his behalf. It didn't seem to affect him too much; he just sat at my desk and asked if I needed help studying. Why not? It'll keep him busy until his mother comes back, and what more could a little munchkin teach me anyway?

…. Apparently a lot! We were at the books for almost two hours and I could already feel my brain seeping out of my ears. I wanted to pray to Zeus to strike down the man who came up with this dumb test, but I was afraid the request might get heard by Athena or something; when your dating her daughter, it's important to leave the impression of not being completely dumb.

Ethan just kept right on talking, almost hyperventilating over how much fun he was having. I asked a few times if he cared to take a break and do something else but he didn't understand. I swear he started tearing up when we got to the algebra section.

"The most basic notion to remember when doing algebra is- you should write this down. Do you have a pen?" he leaned over and took a pen that was lying on my desk.

I snatched the pen away. "It's out of ink." I handed him a _normal_ pen. He watched out of the corner of his eye as I pocketed it, but he didn't ask anything.

"Like I was saying…" The phone started ringing, and in a moment Nico called, "Percy, it's for you!"

"Well, it is my house, after all!" Ethan was about to argue, but I ran down the hall and wrestled the phone from Nico.

"Oh my gods, Percy, are you okay?" Annabeth asked over the line.

"Yeah, completely. Why do you ask?'

"Because Nico just told me that you were having your brains eaten out by the undead."

"He's exaggerating," I stuck my tongue out at him. "I'm fine, really. But what's up? I thought you said you had homework tonight."

"I'm taking a break," I could hear shuffling around her room. "I'm telling you, Seaweed Brain, the only good thing about these SATs is that it gets me out of watching musical marathons with the my roommate."

Nico pulled on the cord and shouted into the phone, "It also awakens the undead childlike souls of past Sons of-" I put my hand over his mouth.

"_What_ are you two doing?"

"Hanging out. Watching movies. Nothing illegal ,yet." YET.

Nico struggled against the headlock I put him in. "Did you know it's illegal to kill!" he gasped.

"Did you also know, that thanks to you, I could easily strangle you with one arm and you couldn't actually fight back?"

"Percy! What are you two doing?"

"I'll tell you later. Bye, Annabeth, love you!" I barely hung up the phone, before wrestling my cousin to the floor.

"Get that kid out of here!"

"How about I get _you _out of here!"

"He's a menace! A walking dictionary!" I will not admit the kid has gotten stronger. Though he has.

"Be nice! And stop telling my girlfriend lies."

"You're _girlfriend_ would sooner go out with someone like that, than someone like you." I flipped him over, and he smacked his head against the coffee table.

"Oh my gods, are you okay?"

"Get off of me! I'm leaving!"

'No!" I yelled grabbing his arm and reaching for the phone. "You promised my mom you would stay the night. If you left, you would be lying. And no one lies to my mom."

"Well, what about you? You're not supposed to have anyone besides me here. You're lying." He hissed.

I dialed my mom's number because I decided to be the good person I was and tell her that everything was going fine. See? Being responsible.

When she picked up the phone, Nico rolled his eyes and stopped trying to bite my arm off. I assured her that we were both doing fine, had eaten, and had no major problems.

"That's because he's a little problem," Nico whispered.

"Shut up-no, Mom, not you. What were you saying? You going to be- Shut up! No, not you! Late, right. Oh, early? How much earlier? Really? –Stop that! Yeah, he is. So you're going to be home around midnight? Oh! Okay! Don't worry he'll be asleep by then! Bye!" She was saying something else (that probably crucial) but I just hung up, and said to Nico. "There. Problem solved."

He put his hands on his hips and told me smartly, "You can say whatever you like about being a child of Hades, but at least I wasn't dropped on my head as a child."

We heard a giant mouse come down the hall and Ethan appeared.

"Hey, why don't you two hang out for a while, and give your big brother a break?"

"Do you listen to anything anyone says?" I ignored him (and the look Ethan was giving me) and retreated back to my room. What a loo-o-ong night.

I spent perhaps next hour doodling, until I heard the doorbell. Finally. Ms. Hunter will pick Ethan up, Nico would have worn himself out, and my parents would be home at midnight. No, eleven. Eleven forty-five?

The family room was strangely quiet except for the humming of the TV on low volume. It went like this.

I open the door. I see who it is. I yell for real. I slam the door. I lean against the doorway and put my head in my hands. Nico appears. Ethan remains MIA.

"I hate it when gods show up at my door," I moan.

Nico hurriedly opens the door and takes in the adult man in the blue uniform.

"Hi! Which one are you?" The man glowers, and Nico gives a short bow. "Lord Hermes. How do you do, your Olympian-ness? What offers may us, mere godlings, present?" Hermes nodded approvingly.

"Good job, di Angelo. Jackson?" I made myself look at him. "You have a late package from the Stolls. Please sign." I did so, and kept pulling the box away from Nico's curious looks.

"You have a letter, too." I coughed as he handed the Son of Hades a moldy looking piece of parchment.

"What kind paper is that? It smells disgusting."

"Nothing," he said simply.

"So I hear your babysitting tonight," Hermes said for conversation. That's the problem with gods.

"I may have posted that one on your Facebook wall," Nico admitted. That's the problem with cousins.

"Be careful, will you? I know a Greek god is not the person to go to for sitting advice, but whoever watches over a child, for however long, always ends up leaving some sort impression. Make sure it's a good one."

On cue, Ethan hopped into view. Literally. Nico had bound him up from his nose to feet in a giant fluffy pink blanket.

"I wanted to tell you, Perc, you're out of duck tape now." Nico said, reading his letter. Hermes' mouth dropped and he grabbed our shirt collars and pulled us outside.

"What did you do?" he yelled.

"Don't look at me!" we both cried. "He was in charge!"

"I swear, if I knew you would do such a horrible thing to my son-"

"YOUR SON?" we both yelled, our jaws dropping.

"But he's so smart!" Hermes shot him a look, and Nico recovered. "I mean, you're looking great, Lord Hermes. Have you been working out with Ares? It shows." The god was fuming too much to blast him.

"Just. Untie him." We went back inside and I worked with the blanket to give Ethan some room to breathe. He used that room of air to ask a wave of questions.

Exasperated, Nico pointed at his forehead, and Ethan fell down.

"NICO!" I yelled

"DI ANGELO!" Hermes yelled

"He's asleep. Help me move him to the sofa." Tiredly, we each took one side and lifted him up. Naturally the door would open just then.

My mom's laughter fell short when she saw us.

"Why is there a mailman in our home?" Paul asked. We dropped Ethan.

"That's not a mailman, Dear. Lord Hermes, I assume?"

"You're mom's a smart lady," Hermes remarked to me.

"What's going on here? Why are you carrying a bundle of blanket?"

"Well-" I began.

"Well-" Nico tried.

"I just got here." Hermes sighed.

"Why is it snoring?" she asked.

"On the bright side, Mom, I got a job. Aren't you proud of me?"


	4. Chapter 1  I Am Oz

**I do not own any characters (okay, except Ethan and Seth) or ideas. All rights reserved to Rick Riordan. This story is sad, so I wouldn't recommend reading it (skip to "Tell of The"). But if you really want to read it, I hope you enjoy it!**

I Am Oz…

"Percy… Percy…"

"Mm. Hold on," I mumbled, my mouth being otherwise occupied. Ethan Hunter sat back in his chair looking slightly aghast. He tried to get my attention, but I had to keep waving him off; this kind of thing only happened once in a while and to me _almost never._

After much licking and slurping and biting, I finally sat back in my chair and grinned at my little friend. Ethan is a three-foot tall super genius with perfectly parted blond hair, upturned eyebrows and a wide mouth. His large rimmed glasses magnified his brown eyes as he politely applauded me.

"Percy, I _have_ to ask: what is the purpose in perfecting the art of eating an ice cream cone upside down?"

I had to think about this. "It is a part of the American symbol for childhood."

It was Ethan's turn to think about this, but then his face lit up. "That's wonderful! Congratulations, Percy!" He looked down at his single scoop of plain vanilla. "I would love to participate in this American tradition. What are the techniques to eating an upside down ice cream cone?"

I smiled and told him. That's the great thing about Ethan; I can never surprise him, but on the few times I do, it's such a great feeling. Ethan is my neighbor, whom I babysit, who thinks that tweed jackets and nicely pressed dress pants are in trend. He skipped a few grades and is now a freshman at this advanced school. Maybe at that school they _all _think that tweed jackets and dress pants are in trend; it's possible.

"Percy, I have a riddle for you."

I snapped my fingers, "And I know the answer: man."

He blinked. "I didn't tell you the riddle yet." He stopped to take another bite of ice cream. "I have to say, though, oh, what is it that you, young people, say these days? Props? I have to give you props for casting for the mythological story instead of going for the generic second grade answer 'a zebra with a sunburn'. However, the riddle 'What walks on four feet in the morning, two feet at noon, and three feet in the evening?' is third-grade information and is first grade knowledge in comparison to the level of thought that my riddle requires. Shall I tell you my riddle, Percy?"

I wish I had some ice cream left. "No, because in either case my answer would still be 'man'. You know, Ethan, just because the Sphinx's riddle is third grade knowledge _now_, doesn't mean it's a simple riddle. The Sphinx terrorized the city of Thebes for _years_ before Perseus came along and figured it out."

"That's true," He took another spoon of vanilla. "Or partially true," the little pixie-sized child gave me a look that said he was very genuinely sorry for having to correct me (it's not pity! I am not being pitied by an twelve year old!) "Percy, it was Oedipus who answered the Sphinx's riddle."

"Really?" Who the Hades is Oedipus? Was he that scraggly guy on Olympus who wouldn't shut up? Oh wait. No. That was… I hope the gods haven't made it a hobby to read my mind (otherwise I would be incinerated in the middle of a New York ice cream shop.)

"Yes. Oh, I know how confusing it is to remember all these Greek heroes." He smiled, "I try to remember the stories by who died in them." That's… nice. "Oedipus is the one who kills his father and marries his mother; the father dies, the sphinx dies, and Oedipus is blinded." By his mother? "For Theseus, his father dies because of the confusion with the sails, the minotaur dies, and they leave Ariadne to die."

"But she's saved by Mr. D!"

"Dionysus, yes. Jason… I'm not wholly sure about. The father, and Medea and someone else dies in that; that's the one with the Golden Fleece." He paused to think. "Odysseus, most of his crew. Trojan War,"

"_Everyone_ dies."

"Except Aeneas, his father Anchises, and his son Anscansus. Heracles kills his first family, and he is almost killed. Oh! And in Perseus, the king is turned to stone, Medusa is beheaded, and his grandfather is killed. By accident." He squinted at me. "That is who you are named for, right?"

"Nope. Percy is short for Percival. I thought I told you that."

"Oh," then he added slyly. "Out of all those stories, I think I like Perseus' the best because he has a happy ending. Don't you agree? And he was able to do all sorts of _cool_ things because he was _so_ awesome…"

"I know!" I continued excitedly. "That's why my mom wanted to name me Percy… But then she decided she ought to go for Percival after some dead poet."

"Percy," he groaned. He could definitely tell I was lying. But we had been talking about mythology for too long (I never got this straight. If those stories actually happened then they're not mythology; they're history, but you still would have to refer to them as mythology because if you said Greek history, people would think you're talking about the economic issues two thousand years ago. Another way that being a demigod makes life confusing.) I quickly steered the conversation around to the renovations at Central Park. "When in doubt, talk about architecture," was Annabeth's unofficial motto; sometimes it was helpful.

Ethan Hunter was a slow eater because he had to continually stop and say his latest revelation. I guess it didn't help that we started playing the window game, but, hey, we weren't in any rush. We watched the people who walked by the ice cream shop and tried to imagine things about their lives. Ethan would always try and say the best things about them, and I would normally say the most realistic. You could say that I was enjoying my time being with a mortal and enjoying mortal pursuits, except that Ethan wasn't mortal; he just thought he was.

My little friendly dwarf stretched his neck to see someone who was just walking into the shop. "I imagine that young man is very troubled by the squabbling between his parents; however, he is an extremely bright child who loves math dearly and uses his talent to bring his family back together and win much fame and popularity in his school."

I stretched my neck to get a look at the gangly kid's face as he waited in line. "Actually, he just keeps forgetting about his haircut appointments. And he's into poetry more than math," I cupped my hands around my mouth. "Seth!"

The shaggy-haired teen turned to look for who called him; I waved him over and he nodded. Once Seth got a sad little cup of rocky road ice cream he made his way over to our table. "Ethan, this is my friend from school, Seth Rollins. Seth, this is my neighbor, the one I babysit, Ethan Hunter."

"Salutations!" Ethan chirped, patting the seat of the empty chair between us.

"How fares thee?" Seth sighed as he sat down. I can tell he forgot about his haircut appointment again because his brown hair was starting to take a life of its own. His oversized athletic sweatshirt didn't match up with his pale, bony face, a detail that did not pass Ethan's curious gaze.

"Fares these, thous, thys, and us well," I said in response, "but you look like your best friend got hit a bus." I paused. "He didn't get hit by bus, did he?"

Seth shook his head, "Nada, me amigo. Jack remains safely at home with Halo and…" he choked on the last word, and took a big bite of rocky road. Ethan knelt on the chair, put his elbows on the table, put his head in his hand, and leaned towards Seth with a bug-eyed expression.

"According to my Teach Yourself Psychology books, I believe your friend here is suffering from lady problems." He slapped the sophomore on the back (the surprise almost making him choke literally). "There. There. They all say that a load of ice cream will mend any broken heart. Care to divulge the details to a curious pair of third-parties?"

"Ethan," I reprimanded gently.

Seth turned his big green eyes on me. "You remember Rebecca?"

I turned my beautiful green eyes to Ethan. "What do your psychology books say about a man who refers to his girlfriend in past tense?"

"Bad, bad things." He slapped Seth on the back again. "There. There. Eat the ice cream."

"She broke it of," Seth said miserably. "We were over at Zack and Julia's working on that English assignment," _What _assignment? "And then Ms. Fleming called Zack and Julia away for something, and just like that- _poof_!- she broke my heart."

"What did those two say when they came back?" I asked, already imagining the fury of the overprotective siblings.

"Nothing; we didn't tell them." I think he actually started crying because he put his head down onto the table and wouldn't look at us. "My beautiful Rebecca!"

Considering my friend's broken heart as a scientist would consider a fossil, Ethan began listing all the generic ways that he could get over this girl; he was enjoying it far too much.

"Ethan," I finally cut in. "You have never spoken to a girl before, so I really don't think you are in a position to give advice. Anyway, I think it's time we head back. Seth, do you want to come hang out at my apartment for a little while?" he shook his mane of hair.

"We'll play games," Ethan wheedled. "And I have a really hard riddle to share."

I really hated to leave Seth alone. I'd offer to accompany him home or somewhere, but I didn't want to take Ethan too far away from our apartment building; Hades, I wasn't even supposed to take him to ice cream. What Ethan didn't get was that Seth would just need some time to get over his break up, and twenty dollars in an ice cream shop was not the best way to spend that time. "We can watch some movies," I suggested, "or lie around and do nothing."

"We can get some more ice cream!" Ethan added.

If my neighbor's mother (or my mother) finds out I took him to get ice cream, I'm going to be in _so_ much trouble. I tried my final and best card. "My mom and I made a fresh batch of blue chocolate chip cookies yesterday. Want some?"

He half-raised his head. Our blue cookies were _legendary_. "Could I break one up and put it in my rocky road?"

"I don't see why not. Come on!" He got and followed me out the shop, with Ethan bouncing on his little legs, crying "Yeah! Ice cream!"

"I can see why you never had sugar before today," I told my Hobbit.


	5. Chapter 2 The Great

…The Great…

I had just managed to settle Mr. Gloom and Mr. Ice Cream Rush on the living room sofa and put on oven mittens when the doorbell rang. I valiantly struggled with the handle, but it kept winning. At last, it occurred to me to take off the oven mitts and try the handle. On the other side was a beautiful blond girl who seemed to be happy, relieved, annoyed, worried, and impatient to see me. All at the same time.

"Hi, Annabeth! What…"

"Where have you been?" my girlfriend demanded, after she greeted me and came inside. Oh Tartarus! She knows about the ice cream! "You said you were going to be home all day, but I've been calling for like the last two hours and you haven't picked up!"

Oh no. "What did my answering machine say?"

She looked at me like I was crazy. "It was a normal recording message."

I snapped my fingers. "Aw man. Paul had switched it to a duet of him and Mom singing Cher, but I guess she changed it back. Hey, do you want to hear it? It's really funny."

She put her hands on my shoulders. "For time's sake, I'm just going to assume, that you didn't know you had a phone and are perfectly safe. Right?" I nodded because it's better if she doesn't know about my evil deed of taking Ethan out for ice cream. "Listen, Percy. Do you know where that neighbor of yours is? The little kid who's super smart?"

"You mean Ethan Hunter? Sure, he's over there in living room."

"He's here!" she cried in a whisper. "Why'd you invite him here?"

"I can't tell you," I mumbled, thinking about ice cream.

She ran her fingers through her curls (looking ten times more beautiful) and sighed. "Rachel has been trying and trying to contact you, and I finally told her I would come over and tell you myself. Do you know about the dreams she's been having?"

"The ones with those undiscovered demigods that keep getting attacked, but we can't figure out where they are?"

"Yeah, well, the most recent dream was about that little kid who lives next door."

"His name is Ethan," I said quietly.

"He's being bullied at school by these two bullies and his principal. Turns out their monsters. He's not safe here."

"His name is Ethan," I said again.

"Ethan is not safe here," she corrected herself. "We need to take him to Camp Half Blood."

"What?" I cried, so loud that the monologue-chatting in the other room stopped. "Everything is okay!" I yelled to the two on the sofa. "Just some more bills showed up." I waited until they started soliloquy-ing again before crying in a whisper to Annabeth, "What?"

"He needs to be somewhere safe. He can't fight three monsters on his own."

"He is safe. Safe with me. Ethan can't go to camp yet; he's not ready."

Annabeth gave me a very sad look. She took my hand and said, "I'm sorry, but… you're the son of Poseidon. You actually put him in more danger because of your aura."

I squeezed her hand. "I know that. But I can protect him much better than anyone else."  
>"Because of the curse?"<p>

"Even without the curse, I can protect him better. I dropped my voice even lower. "He can't go to camp yet. I know it's a great place and I love it, but it's not for him right now. You don't understand; he's brilliant and free-thinking and curious ... and, and… he has so much potential, and if he finds out about the Greek world, it will ruin all of that. His life will be changed forever."

"He'll have to find out sometime."

"When he's thirteen. I already have it planned," I told her excitedly, "It's going to be a dinosaur-themed surprise party with a Power Point presentation on the Greek world using The Land Before Time characters.

She looked at me for a long moment. "You really care about this kid, don't you?" I told her he was an amazing neurotic kid. She sighed, "Ohhhhkay. I don't like this at all, but I'm going to trust you. What are we going to do about the monsters?"

"I'm going to kill them."

"… You are n-!"

"Annabeth," I interrupted. "I'm going to kill them. And I'm going to make sure that no other monsters try to mess with him."

"You are going to fend off monsters for him for two years?" she asked, drily.

"I'd do it for ten years if he wanted me to."

She gave me a half-hearted punch in the shoulder. "All right, I'm behind you on this. What's the plan?"

"You can babysit." She started to protest, but I turned and called out, "Hey, guys! Can you come over here for a sec?"

Annabeth put her face in her hands. "Did I just hear a noun in the plural form?"

Ethan came waddling out to stand next to me; Seth was tugging on his jacket with a cookie in his mouth.

"Guys, I would like to introduce you to my girlfriend, Annabeth. Annabeth, this is Ethan and my friend from school, Seth."

"Salutations!"

"How fares thee?"

Annabeth choked down a furious look. "Hi." She glared at me.

"Pardon me," Seth said, "But I have to be going."

"But you just got here!" I exclaimed. "Awwww," Ethan said (Was he still on a sugar rush?)

Seth bowed to me (which is very normal for him). "I thank you graciously for you hospitality and concern, my friend. Alas, my mother wants me to drop by the store and get some yogurt for my sister, and I should be on my way back home anyway."

"I'll walk you down," I said, as Annabeth's glare increased in intensity.

He bowed to little Ethan, who bowed. "It was a most interesting experience making your acquaintance." He bowed to Annabeth. "It is nice to meet you. Percy talks about you all the time." And to the general congregation. "'So many worlds, so much to do, so little done, such things to be.'" Seth walked out of the door, saying. "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.'…"

Annabeth watched after him, distracted. Finally she turned to me and asked accusingly, "How come you never quote Tennyson?"

"Tennyson is more of a eleventh grade material," Ethan answered for me, knowledgably because I didn't know who the heck Tennyson was. "Some schools may integrate his works in to the tenth grade course, but I feel that Percy's English teacher is quite caught up with the books about death right now." Annabeth nodded, thoughtfully.

"You two are going to have lots of fun," I told Annabeth and Ethan.

"You're leaving?" Ethan cried, looking more sorrowful than that guy from that novel for class who lost somebody he loved (as you can tell, I'm really engrossed with the class. I wish I had Paul for a teacher.)

"I'll be back," I assured him. "I just need to go take care of something right now. But Annabeth is great; you two will have lots of stuff to talk about. Hey, why don't you tell her your riddle?"

That brightened Ethan up. "Okay! Annabeth, it's really hard and really confusing."

That brightened Annabeth up. "Well, I'd love to hear it, then. I'm great with riddles."

I said bye to them both, grabbed my jacket, and closed the door behind me. I walked down the stairs with Seth, talking about random stuff. We walked about halfway to the grocery store; all the while, I was figuring out a plan for the monsters.

"You have money?" I asked Seth. "Are you going to catch a bus?... Hey, you know, you're always welcomed at my place, and I'll talk to Zack and Julia for you, so they won't kill Rebecca next time they see her."

We laughed because that would be near impossible. With Zack you could talk some sense into him, but Julia could hold a grudge until the end of the world.

"Thank you, Percy." He smiled. "And are you okay?"

"Yeah!" I started, thinking that he knew about the monsters. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't think we ask often. Thank you, Percy. I'll see you at school." Then he added. "You know, a lot of people pretend to be different things. But you never pretend. You are always a good friend."


	6. Chapter 3 And Terrible

... And Terrible**  
><strong>

I let myself into Ethan's apartment. The living room and kitchen were in the same shape as ours, which was good. The white furniture in the living room, laid out in a rectangular shape, looked nice but were very old and worn out. The kitchen was heavily supplied, but I took careful notice of what was there. I walked around those rooms several times and once through the bedrooms, trying to get a feel of where everything was. It was important that I knew, and the monsters didn't.

Ethan's mom was working until very late that night. I had several hours' leeway, and not just for Ethan's ice cream addiction to wear down. I pulled out the phone book and looked up Ethan's school. After several tries, an oily woman's voice answered.

"Hi, may I speak to the principal, please."

"She's speaking," the voice answered. "Who is this?'

"This Ethan Hunter's guardian speaking. I am very concerned about this bullying that has been happening at school. Is there a time that I could speak to you and the students who have been threatening harm to Ethan?"

There was a faint cackle in her voice. "Why, of course. But we'll need Ethan there, too."

"He's unavailable right now. But I will talk for him. This Percy Jackson speaking." The voice went silent for a moment. And then it seemed that the cackling increased.

"We will meet soon, Mr. Jackson."

"Maybe tomorrow," I lied. "Ethan will be home any minute now." The cackling seemed to go on until the cackling became the crackling of the phone hanging up.

I have never been on the phone with a monster before.

I sat on the kitchen counter thinking. The monsters are coming here, right now. They'll want to catch the son of Hermes, but they'll get the son of Poseidon instead. Why didn't Ethan mention these bullies to me? Was he scared of them? Did he suspect something? Gods, I hope not. I don't want my twisted up world messing him up before it has to. I sat and thought and waited.

Sometime later, while the sun was still up, I heard lumbering beasts trying to climb the stairs. They were huffing and cursing, so my first thought was that monsters must not have an exercise gym in Tartarus; but then again I've heard of so many people hating and avoiding the gym that maybe Tartarus is just one giant work out gym. Not good news for heroes.

I cracked open the front door and peered out.

At the end of the hall was a sickly thin woman in a hideous pink knitted suit. Her expression was severe, and her features were hawk-like; her fingers were long and manicured. Behind her were two giant kids at least seven feet tall. They were mountains of mass and fat, with sour expressions (like they had fifty Sour Packs at once) and lots of hair covering their whole bodies. One of them made a series of grunts, and the woman snapped; actually she flicked her forked tongue at him.

There was the click of a door locking. Immediately the woman hurled herself at my front door. I held my breath, wondering about what Ethan must have been thinking. Rachel wasn't wrong. Annabeth wasn't wrong (well, when is she?). And I wasn't wrong. There were monsters after my little friend, Ethan.

Too bad for them.

"Yes?" I asked, as I opened the door and leaned out.

The trio spun around. One of the mammoth kids started to make a grunting noise, but he coughed and cleared his throat and said, "We're looking for Ethan Hunter."

"He's not here yet. But I am. Would you care to come inside?"

I awkwardly let them inside Ethan's apartment. A family was walking downstairs, followed by an elderly man taking a stroll. The fight would have to remain inside the apartment.

As soon as I locked the door behind me, I heard the woman cackling softly.

She was sitting on of the white couches. One mammoth kids stood next to her, and the other stood in uncomfortable proximity to me.  
>"According to these two fine gentlemen," the woman cackled. "It seems that Ethan is causing all of the trouble."<p>

"That's a straight up lie!"

"Is not," the fathead next to me complained. "He's always talking about stuff he knows."

"Seems like Mr. Hunter needs to be punished," the woman mused.

"He's just being himself," I defended. "And you all need to leave him alone."

"Now, now-" I marched over to face the other two monsters, and the third one still kept close to me.

"No. I'm don't mean at school. I mean leave him alone for good. All of you! Tell your buddies downstairs. I don't know what you want with Ethan, but you are going to make life a lot harder than already is for him. And when you mess with Ethan, you're messing with me. I fought Kronos, and compared to that, you are a bunch of toothpicks. So leave. Him. Alone."

All of them were quiet. Then the woman folded her arms. "Bold statement, son of Poseidon. But you might not want to get too big for your American jeans. You never know how hard you will from glory."

"I know my limitations. I'm not being bigheaded; I'm being protective. When I'm being protective you better watch out."

"Still, Kronos is not the biggest thing you will face. You have bigger battles comings\. Best let your friend deal with his own problems."

The monster next to me tackled me to the ground. I kicked and punched him in the face and rolled way. In seconds, I drew riptide. When he tried a frontal attack, I shoved the sword into his middle and he vaporized into dust. Good; for a second, I was afraid that I totally just stabbed a mortal.

"Not likely," I said.

The other two sprang to their feet, and ran towards the door.

"Get him!" the lady cried, before swinging her arm and newly formed talons at me. I ducked and cut her in half.

"You guys, really aren't that smart," I commented. The last monster wrestled with the door handle like he had on oven mitts. Then he decided it was best to first get rid of me. He ripped a plant out of its pot and threw me. I fell backwards; I was tangled in vines and covered in soil, and the stake holding up the plant had landed about an inch to the right of my face.

The monster was changing, and I didn't recognize him right away. He had large boar tusks, red eyes, and snot dripping from his nose. His fingers grew into twelve- inch claws.

I was still trying to get the vines off of me, when he swung his first strike at my face. I flattened myself to narrowly avoid it. My sword arm was still caught, but my other arm was freed. I punched him in his snotty nose. As he reeled back, I kicked him off his feet.

"Tell the others to leave Ethan Hunter alone." And I finished him.

I sat on the floor, for I don't know how long just thinking. When that monster had said, "get him", they had run away from me. They would have rather a son of Hermes than a son of Poseidon, and I couldn't figure out what that meant. Would my threats mean more monsters would come or less? What bigger problems would I have to face? Did that mean I wouldn't be here to protect Ethan. Did I do the right thing?

I closed my eyes and I saw two images. One of Ethan being angry with me when I tell him about the Greek world. And another of Ethan being attacked without knowing what was happening. I thought about how I had Grover and Chiron and Annabeth right from the beginning, and I knew the second image was much worse. I wasn't going to let it happen.

I did my best to clean up the spilled dirt and put the plant back where it was. I wanted to put it somewhere, so neither Ethan nor his mom would notice it right away, but I knew nothing about interior decorating. Perhaps I should ask Annabeth.

I swept up the icky yellow dust of the monsters and flushed it down the toilet. I said a quick prayer to my dad that the remains wouldn't block up the plumbing.

I straightened up the living room and such. Perfect. Okay, not perfect. My clothes were dirty with soil and monster dust and my hand was covered in snot.

I let myself back into my apartment as quietly as I could. I went to my room and changed into new clothes. I was just washing my hands and face in the bathroom when I heard a squeak from the doorway.

"Percy!" Ethan danced around me. "Are you okay? Where did you go? Did you learn anything? What did you learn?"

I laughed. "I went to the store, but I got hijacked by girl scouts. Nightmarish little tweens, but the cookies were good."

Annabeth leaned against the doorway, smiling. "Tell him what we did, Ethan."

"Oh, Percy! Guess what! We did lots of things while you were gone. First, Annabeth figured out my riddle."

"It took me a moment, but I got it," she said proudly. "Plutonium II."

"What's that?"

Ethan led us back out to the living room. "And then we had cookies and milk and looked at a book of New York Architecture. And then we made cards out of construction paper- I made one for you!- while we exchanged trivial facts. Oh and guess what! There was a huge dog here. Annabeth says she saw him downstairs, but he apparently climbed the stairs and he was pounding the door- but it was locked- and then he went and pounded other doors. I thought I heard him pounding mine. Let me show you the card and…"

As he ran off to get his spoils of a good evening, Annabeth wrapped her arms around my waist and looked up at me. "How were they?"

"Easy," I said, hugging her back.

"That's not good… I'm glad you're safe, though."

"Well… I kinda sent a death threat to other monsters, so I don't know how safe I will be."

"You'll be fine; I know you will." She started to say something else, but then changed her mind and gave me a kiss. While I was smiling like an idiot, she continued, "Seaweed Brain, I promise that I will help protect Ethan in whatever way I can."

"You sure?"

"Of course. You were right; he is something special."

Ethan Hunter returned with a few blue cookies and a card for me. The card had a boxy drawing of him and me eating a couple of upside down ice cream cones. The caption, in very neat handwriting, read, "It's always fun hanging out with Percy (Perseus or Percival) Jackson!"


	7. Chapter 1 Tell of The

**All rights reserved to Rick Riordan, who I like and respect very much. Expect some weirdness! And if you can, enjoy the story!**

Tell of The…

How he got the sports questions right, too, is something I will never understand. Ethan Hunter had three of the Trivial Pursuit pies filled. The fourth had one pie piece; imagine my shining pride. By this time, Ethan was trying to go super easy on me, but a game like this just wasn't my style. Too many questions, too little print, too much concentration. The only reason I was still playing was because I thought it was kinda funny; that and the giant super slushies we bought earlier.

The eleven year old straightened his tweed jacket with patched elbows, patted down his already perfected parted blond hair, and adjusted his large round glasses.

"Percy, you are going to get this one, I promise… Percy?"

"I'm awake!" I cried, sitting up. I had just been daydreaming about chocolate cake. "Are we still playing?"

"You are going to get this question, I promised," he promised in his high, squeaky voice. "Ready?" Ready to be beaten by an twelve-year old for the twentieth time, yes sir, I am. "Ahem, what is the Roman name for the god of the sea?"

Oh. My. Gods. I know this one. I know this one! I know the answer! Mythology is my thing! I know the answer! I got up from the kitchen table and started jumping up and down from excitement. In my excitement, I blurted out, "Poseidon!"

Ethan gave me the saddest look in the entire world. "I'm so sorry, Percy, but that's the Greek name. The answer is Neptune."

I sat back down and dropped my head onto the table. "Oh, I give up." My little neighbor sympathetically patted my head.

The doorbell rang. "Is that my mom?" Ethan asked.

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh good! I want to finish my drink before she comes." Gods, the slushie is almost as large as him; I don't know how he'll finish it.

I went over to answer the door; I kept one hand enclosed around my unordinary ballpoint pen. You never know! I opened the door and on the other side was a tall, strong-looking girl with a halo of black hair and a silver tiara. She was wearing silver camping attire and a pack on her back. Behind her was a curly-haired guy wearing baggy shirt and jeans and a new rasta cap. I'm glad he remembered to wear shoes.

"Thalia! Grover! Who died?"

"Thank gods, you're okay," Thalia grumbled, pushing me aside and coming in. Her electric blue eyes were wild and angry, which means that she is in a good mood.

"Peeerrrcy!" Grover gave me a hug and came inside. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Don't tell me: I'm supposed to be dead right now, aren't I?"

"In half an hour you will be. Don't you remember what's happening today?"

I quickly ran through the possibilities while Thalia and Grover exchanged looks. Date? Quest? Counselor's council? April fool's day? Halloween? Someone's birthday? End of the world?

"I'm going to take a really long shot at this, guys. I'm supposed to be tackling a monster right now."

"Think bigger."

"Oh, Styx! Titan." They're back already?

Thalia sighed and looked like she wanted to bind and drag me off to a sewage pit. "Smaller."

Bigger than monsters, small than titans. The gods? What?

Three-feet tall Ethan appeared beside me, sipping quietly but with great determination his giant blue slushie.

"Oh. Guys-"

"Oh. My. Gods!" I never in my life thought I would hear Thalia squeal, but she did and she had a ridiculous grin on her face. "You have one of those life-sized dolls. Oh Percy, you are so lucky! I wanted one for the longest time when I was a kid. Oh!" She was so excited to finally get to see and play with a life-sized doll, and Ethan went very still from shyness around bigger kids. Thalia Grace picked up my neighbor and put him on her hip.

"You are the cutest thing that I have ever seen! And so well-made!" she cooed. "I love your jacket, yes I do. I love your vest, I love your eyes. I love-"

I broke in with the truth. "Thalia that's a real boy."

Thalia blinked. Ethan blinked. She dropped him. He landed on his back, spilling blue slushie all over his clothes.

"Thalia!"

"Ew! Ew! Boy germs! Boy germs!" she wiped her hands on Grover's shirt.

"Ethan, I am so sorry for my cousin. Let me help you."

"You have an interesting family," he commented, calmly, already being acquainted with my cousin, the son of death. Oh, he had no idea. I went and helped Ethan clean up as best as he could (Sheesh! Who knew slushie stained so fast!) Then I officially introduced him to my cousin, Thalia and my best friend, Grover. He seemed to assume that any friend of mine was a friend of his because he offered to show the satyr how to play Trivial Pursuit. Thalia agreed with this idea by pulling me aside.

"Seaweed Brain, you are going to be in so much trouble. My dad is furious."

"Isn't he always?"

"…Yes. But he was only mildly angry before, and now that you didn't show up, he is angry. Soon he will be pretty angry! And then really angry! And then all Hades will break loose. Don't let all Hades break loose!"

She sounded like a commercial. "I'm sorry that your dad is mad, but I have no idea what you are talking about."

She stared at me. "The meeting. On Olympus. The one where we all are probably going to be incinerated. Hello, Percy!" she knocked on my head.

"Ow. I'm sorry, what meeting?"

"I got a memo. Didn't you get a memo?" I shook my head. "Yeah right, you noodle brain!" she turned around and marched off to my bedroom. I realized that she was going to search my stuff and prove that I got a memo and just forgot about it. The Elvis song about a hound dog started blaring through my mind.

The doorbell rang. Both Ethan and Grover looked at me, but didn't move. I sighed and got the door.

A twelve year-old kid wearing an obnoxious amount of black slightly brightened upon seeing me.

"Hiya, Percy!"

"What are you doing here?" I asked Nico di Angelo, letting him come in.

"Well, everyone was getting agitated on Olympus, so I thought I would sneak out and see what fun you're getting into."

I took a shaky breath and tried not to think about being incinerated any moment now. "Nico, I hear there is a meeting on Olympus going on right now. Please explain."

"You don't know? Athena and Poseidon and some of the other Olympians convinced Zeus to hold a council and have the camp present. Zeus is really miffed about something, and some are saying he wants to take drastic measures. The other gods want to be reasonable and at least have a good long argument about it. They sent notices to all the campers on and off campgrounds. Even I got one."

Thalia came marching out of my room. "I don't see a notice anywhere."

"That's because I didn't get one!"

"No matter. You still have time to get Olympus. I think my dad wants to talk to you personally." I could have gone my whole life without ever having to hear those words.

"Aww," Nico complained. "I don't want to go back yet."

"Guys, I can't go." They looked at me like I was crazy. "I'm babysitting."

"Babysitting?" Thalia asked. At that point, Grover and Ethan came over to where we were standing.

"I lost to an eleven year old."

"Join the club," I told him.

"Oh. It's you," Ethan said with little emotion. Nico made hissing noise in response. Little vampire.


	8. Chapter 2 StormTossed Man,

…Storm-Tossed Man,…

The problem is simple. The gods want to talk to me. I'm not there to talk to them. I can't go to them because I'm babysitting a kid who knows nothing about the Greek world.

"Saaayyy, little guy, Ethan," Thalia tried, but I elbowed her.

"Don't even think about it," I whispered to her.

"Is there a problem?" Ethan asked confused.

"No," I said.

"Yes," everyone else answered.

Grover explained as well as he could. "The thing is that Percy's family- uh, on his dad's side- is having this huge reunion party, and Percy forgot about it." I didn't forget about nothing! Ignore the double negative! "But everyone wants him there because- uh, um, it's been such a long time since they've had all the kids together."

"That sounds lovely. May I come?"

"Sure," Thalia said, impatiently.

"No," Nico and I said at the same time. This poor child must be getting so many mixed signals. He looked confused, waiting for an explanation.

Nico gave him one. "It's on Mars."

The doorbell rang. Nico opened it and let in a beautiful, curly-haired girl.

Annabeth took one look at me and said, "Dangit, you're here."

I looked over to Grover mournfully and said, "I feel unloved." Thalia patted my shoulder.

"No, I didn't mean like that! It's just… you're about to have company. And it would almost better if you weren't here." Great. More stuff I don't understand.

"Percy, are we having a party?" Ethan asked.

Nico started to raise his hand in Ethan's direction. He grinned, "May I?"

"You, little-" Playfully, Thalia hooked him around his neck and gave him a noogie. Ethan tried not to laugh.

"Please explain. I don't know what's going on," I told Annabeth.

"Not to be mean, but that happens a lot." Grover said. "Now, I have a hunch. Here me out. If the Percy can't go to the 'party'," he made quote gestures, "then the 'party' will come to Percy."

Annabeth nodded in confirmation.

"Crap," I mumbled. "All right, Ethan, let's go."

Thalia picked up Nico and held him upside down. "Put me down, Thalia! Put me down!" he demanded, half gasping with laughter.

"What are we doing, Percy?" Ethan asked, watching with amusement.

"I have no idea." I went over and tried to help Nico see the world right-side up (or however he saw the world) again. Nico, who is frankly very scrawny, tried to retaliate and I tried to stop further argument between the humiliated son of Hades and the laughing daughter of Zeus.

The problem was that I didn't hear Travis and Connor Stoll, Katie Gardner, and Clarisse la Rue walk in.

"What's going on? Is this the party?" Ethan whispered to Grover.

"No, these are just Percy's weird and weirder cousins."

The newcomers were trying to get my attention, but Connor Stoll quickly hushed them. "Look, guys. Big Three children all in the same place. It's like a circle of epicness right here."

The three of us looked at him.

Thalia smartly informed him, "You know, whenever I doubt my oath to Artemis, I just think about you and immediately I have a new resolution to recruit more girls." Connor winked at her, and she rushed to kill him.

Nico and I held her back, Travis and Katie tried to protect Connor, and Clarisse just stood there and laugh.

"Annabeth? Can you come help?" Annabeth rushed over and tried to calm Thalia down, while Connor continued to make passes at her.

I took Ethan's hand and led him into the kitchen. I settled him in a chair and looked him in the eye.

"You have a very interesting family," he said. "It is very, um, groovy!"

"Ethan, listen to me. Some really weird things are about to happen, and they are really hard to explain. I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you."

I thought about the situation he had with bullies a while ago, and how he didn't tell me about it. "And you know you can trust me enough to tell me anything, right?"

"Of course! And you know, Percy, you can trust me enough to tell me anything, right?'  
>"I know. I will. Now, I want you to stay here for a while okay? Do you want to look at some of my mom's books?"<p>

"Yes! Oh yes!" he jumped down and perused the bookshelf. Selecting about six or seven books, he made himself comfortable in the kitchen and started reading.

Now, let's see, I thought as I went back to see my friends, my parent's should be coming home sometime this evening. I need to get everyone out by that time. Assuming more people come-

Scratch that. Knowing more people.

The little foyer (or whatever you call the area near the front door) was packed with demigods, all talking, laughing and joking around. So many in such a short time! Annoying gods!

I grabbed one demigod who was standing near the door. "Stop letting everyone in!"

"I'm not letting people in. They just keep coming!"

And then everyone realized I was there, and I was mobbed by about fifty of them at once. Everyone was shouting my name and exclaiming that I was safe and how relieved they were to see me. I was jostled a bit and I used Nico as kind of shield to get everyone off of me.

"Guys! Guys! I'm fine," I exclaimed, exasperatedly. "You want to know what I've been doing? I got up this morning, went for a drive, and played Trivial Pursuit. The only reason I wasn't at the meeting was because I didn't know about it!"

"Oh. Yeah right," was the chorus's reaction.

"Anyway," Thalia said, gruffly. "We better get back to Olympus."

"Percy, you're so great, you have fifty escorts," Nico told me.  
>"They're not escorting," Annabeth said.<p>

"And that's what I'm afraid of," I mumbled as the doorbell rang.

I opened the door, stepped out, and closed it behind me. In front of me stood a good-looking, middle-age guy who missed the best fishing time, but decided to hang out at the beach anyway. Next to him, was a middle-aged guy with curly black hair who had just finished running a marathon. He was chugging some blue Gatorade.

"Dad," I begged, even clasping my hands together. "You are my favorite Olympian and a really great dad, but please, _please_, don't be here."

"Does he normally talk to you like this?" Hermes asked.

"I'm desperate," I explained.

"I'm sorry, my boy," Poseidon pounded my back. Hard. "Hate to ruin your good fishing day, but to be honest…"

"You ruined Olympus's day," Hermes supplied.

"I didn't know about the meeting!" I protested.

"You should be happy I'm here," my dad said, "You've got bigger things coming."

"Don't tell me. A quest?"

"No, I mean bigger things coming up the stairs." He pointed behind me.

A tall beautiful woman with a cold stare and a long dress just finished climbing the stairs. Next to her was an auburn-haired young woman, about twenty or so, wearing park clothes and a let's-get-down-to-business expression.

The man-hating goddess and my girlfriend's mom. Great.

I was not being cowardly! I just took three steps back until Athena and Artemis would see my dad and Hermes before they would see me.

"Took you long enough," my dad greeted them cheerfully.

"Stupid taxis," Athena grumbled under her breath. "Honestly who ever designed this city roads system clearly did not stop to think-"

"Hey! I did that!" Hermes complained.

I quickly let myself back into my apartment. Everyone stopped talking and looked at me.

"I hope you all have been good lately."

"Santa Claus is coming?" a little girl of Hermes' asked.

"Actually, your parents are coming." The doorbell rang again. That seemed to shake everyone up. The boys tried to stand up straight and not look guilty; the girls tried to fix their hair and makeup. All of the campers tried to look demure and patient and respectful. I met Thalia's eye; she took a deep breath and nodded.

I opened the door.


	9. Chapter 3 O Muse

…O Muse

Four gods who looked like average people strolled in talking very loudly.

They seemed to be arguing about New York driving as if they had all had piled into a minivan and endured three-hour traffic just to get here. Maybe they did.

I felt the presence of someone else on the other side of the door. I opened it and let Mr. D and a big dirty mole- Hephaestus- in. they seemed to be in jolly good moods because Hephaestus grunted to several campers and Mr. D snorted at several others.

"Enough of this," Athena said evenly. "We can discuss this at another time. We have important matters to discuss right now. Is there anywhere to sit, Jackson?"

I whispered to the other demigods and they fetched a various assortment of folding chairs, living room couches, and dining table seats. The six gods sat, but all of the campers remained standing.

"Business now, eh?" Mr. D groaned.

"We'll have to wait. My brother is the one who is having 'issues' and he's the one who needs to listen to the discussions," Poseidon explained.

"In that case," Hephaestus turned to some demigods standing behind him. "What are your latest projects?" His children brightened up considerably as they proudly told him.

I dashed over to check on Ethan.

"Percy, what is going on?" he asked, looking up from his book.

"Someone spilled Kool-Aid on his cousin's shirt and none of us know how to clean it."

"That's terrible. Perhaps I can help. Now, the properties of Kool-Aid include-" I left him to figure out the chemical equation and dashed back just as Annabeth was opening the door for Aphrodite and Ares.

Despite my growing panic, it was really funny to see Mole Guy, Movie Star, and Motorcycle Maniac squished together on the sofa. Luckily, Annabeth gave me a stern look not to laugh.

Thalia, Grover, and Nico made their way over to us.

Nico stated the obvious. "You're going to have the entire Olympus in your apartment any minute now. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. But I'm thinking if the conversation can just remain calm and logical-" my friends all snorted at the idea, "then the mortals won't know about the gods, the gods won't bother with the mortals and-"

"-and Zeus will still incinerate you," Thalia mused.

"I really need to avoid that. I have a math test next Tuesday, and if I fail, my whole grade will drop a letter." From the looks of Grover, and the two Big Three demigods, Annabeth was seriously rubbing off on me.

"Maybe, we can convince him to do it later," my girlfriend figured. "I have a dance at my school in December, so… we can tell him to use Percy as a firework to start off the New Year!" The others laughed, and Annabeth tried to convince me that she was joking. She gave me a hug, but one long glare from Athena, and that was it.

Then there was singing. Off-key. Then there was a yelp. Followed by a few more. Annabeth quickly opened the door as Apollo stumbled in, being whacked with a green purse. Property of Demeter.

Each word was enunciated with a smack. "You've. Been Singing. Nonstop. For twenty hours. And. I'm. Sick. Of. It!" The other gods started cracking up laughing. And just to be safe, Artemis handed her weapons to Thalia, so she wouldn't strike her brother. Thalia with weapons was not any less calming.

The demigods were mostly whispering to each other, while the Big Ten were talking and laughing and joking around.

Apollo pulled out Mythomagic and they started playing. Most of the demigods lost interest when they realized that some of the figures were demigods. Scary concept, to be honest.

Finally, there was a knocking on the door. A moody-looking guy in a pinstripe suit, a prim-looking lady in a dress and fur stole, and a yawning guy with long black hair and black suit came in without waiting to be invited. Apollo sadly put away his Mythomagic, and the other gods arranged themselves according to their thrones.

"Sure, I get the lousy chair," Hades grumbled, sitting down in a plastic folding chair covered in blue stickers.

Looking for a good laugh, I leaned in between Thalia and Nico. "You know that feeling of mortal terror when see your dad, and you realize just how much he must be judging your every move?"

"Oh yeah," they said, emphatically.

"I don't get that feeling," they both glared their worst at me; honestly, it a wonder I'm not dead.

"To business," Zeus demanded.

"Someone broke my hammer," Hephaestus glared at Ares, who wouldn't look at him.

"I came up with a new poem!"

"I would like to hit my brother," Artemis said, making a vain attempt to take off her shoe and throw it at her reciting brother.

"I don't approve of your son," Athena said to Poseidon.

"I don't approve of Berlin, but we both got to deal with it."

"Ganymede isn't here," Dionysus whined. "The Fates aren't here, the Muses aren't, the Oracle isn't."

Aphrodite checked her nails, and Demeter rearranged her dress. Hermes just shrugged, "I'm just here to get out of work."

Hades high-fived him. I silently asked Annabeth if all meetings started like this, and she nodded.

"To business," Zeus demanded again. The Olympians quieted down. "Where's Percy Jackson?" This was said in such a roar that my mom's cabinet shook, demigods quieted down, and there was a squeak from the kitchen.

My loving cousins, Grace and di Angelo, shoved me forward into the circle of chairs. Cursing quietly and downright panicking, I knelt before the king of the gods.

"Insolence! Impudence! Ignorance! Defiance!" Zeus tolled out my guilt.

I interrupted, "I swear on the River Styx that before today, I had no idea you called a meeting for everyone."

"Hermes!"

"I delivered the memo, I'm sure of it. I remember because there was this funny little kid talking to me the whole way downstairs."

Funny, Ethan talked to his dad and never even knew it. My dad started talking, perhaps in my defense. I tried to catch Grover's eye and tell him to go check up on Ethan. He nodded and cantered off.

"Jackson!"

"Yes!... No! Uh, what was the question?"

Zeus grumbled like a thousand thunderclouds. "I said, we will deal with you later. There are other things to discuss."

I stood up, backed out of the circle, and hid behind Thalia and Annabeth.

Apparently what they wanted to discus were the demigods. Aawwkwwaarrrd. The conversation got very heated and intense to the point that we couldn't even understand what they were saying. It was like their voices were drifting upward into Olympus. Too much echo. They quieted down for a few minutes, and Grover came to tell me that Ethan was okay. Then some god or another accused us of things we never did (like sea monsters and expedition to the north and eagles. What the Hades?), and all over again their voice rose and echoed.

By this time, the demigods didn't care to act respectful, scared, or worried. A lot of them settled themselves down on the floor to relax. More settled themselves down to quietly gossip and talk. Grover and Annabeth sat down and started playing a hand game.

"Yeah! Naptime!" Nico whispered and curled up into a ball like a cat. Thalia and I found ourselves the only two still standing.

She looked at me. "Do what the Romans do," she sat down Indian-style and began inspecting Artemis' weapons.

"I give up," I declared; I stretched out on the floor and used Annabeth's leg as a pillow.

And while the gods of Olympus argued about incomprehensible things in my apartment, I took a nap.

Sometime later I suppose, I heard someone calling my name. I opened my eyes and saw a pair of gray eyes staring down at me from a very curious and innocent young face.

"Oh good, you are all right, Percy. I wanted to tell you that I figured out how to get rid of the Kool-Aid, and then I used it to clean my clothes. See? I must say you have the most interesting family." Ethan in his little way helped me sit up. A lot of the demigods around me were just waking up or sitting up. Nico scootched away from Ethan. The gods were returning the chairs to where they belonged.

"Is that it?" I whispered to Annabeth.

"I think so." She looked very confused.

"What happened?" Thalia asked. We shrugged.

"All I know is that I'm not-" I glance at Ethan Hunter, "getting that ice cream certificate uncle promised me."

"I am sorry, Percy," Ethan said sympathetically, thinking about the loss of good ice cream.

"Hey!" Zeus said, spotting Ethan (but Ethan not noticing who he was talking about), "Whose kid is that?"

Hades and Poseidon and Demeter immediately denied him.  
>"I wish, but no," Athena said, simply.<p>

"Not that I remember," Apollo mused.

"Don't look at me," Dionysus said. Hephaestus shook his head.

"Well, let's see. I maaaayyyy have-" One look from Hera, and Zeus immediately continued, "not. Absolutely not."

Aphrodite and Ares snorted. Athena turned to the one god who had not spoken. Hermes looked met my eye, and I badly wanted to signal him not to claim Ethan.

But it turns out that Hermes didn't want to claim him yet. I know that sounds bad, but when I looked him in the eye, I saw that the reason why was the same reason why I didn't want to tell Ethan about the Greek world. Ethan wasn't ready for it, and he was sure as Hades doing very well without it.

"Excuse me, I have to take this call," Hermes said, ignoring Athena's gaze. He flipped out his phone and snakes whispered in his ear. He led the procession of gods leaving my apartment.

"Your family is leaving now, I see. I think we ought to see them to the door."

I was about to say "No, thank you" when Ethan got up and stood by the door. As each Olympian left, he shook their hand, introduced himself, and wished them a very safe journey home. Out of all of us demigods, I don't know who was the most shocked.

"Excuse me, Excuse me, I left my purse over there," Hera moved between us to get to her big black purse I didn't notice before. As she passed me, a note fell into my hand. I opened it and read: _Emergency Meeting on Olympus, September 18 at noon. Be there, or be incinerated._ Annabeth read over my shoulder; today was the eighteenth…

We both glared at Hera as she passed back, but she simply smiled serenely and said quietly, "All part of the plan."

Zeus was the last to leave, awkwardly shaking Ethan's hand. He seemed to have forgotten to incinerate me (I impulsively jabbed Nico to make sure he wouldn't remind the Big Guy). There was something about Zeus' appearance or aura that seemed… cleansed. He walked with the air of washing his hands clean of demigods. I don't know why, but I got a weird feeling he was writing us off. Why…?

When the Olympians left, I stared everybody else down. Right away, they started shouting out that they wanted to order pizza and Chinese and Lithuanian food.

"I love you all, but get out!" Eventually, all who were left were Thalia, Nico, Grover, Annabeth, Ethan and I.

"Pizza?" Thalia asked.

"Pizza," Grover agreed.

"Speaking of pizza, did you know…," Annabeth followed them to the kitchen.

"Can we get ice cream?" Ethan asked. "Yeah, ice cream!"

"There's this new flavor I want to try called Death by Chocolate!" Nico said; he started laughing uncontrollably at the name.

I herded the two towards the kitchen. A while later my parents walked in. All they saw was the house perfectly intact and me and my friends having dinner and desert at the same time.

Oh, if only they knew.


End file.
